You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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