Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
