..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Acid is not a monday night drug
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
