we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
