I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He felt like a one man threesome
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
