He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
tell me about the fingering
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