Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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