Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize