I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I didn't shave. On purpose
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
