My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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