the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
