I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
