Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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