I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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