The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
