All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
