Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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