Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the day after is always just damage control
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
