You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
