No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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