dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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