Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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