Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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