Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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