I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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