my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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