i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
