Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
