if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
