Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
