I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
