I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
