So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
