I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
