got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
