She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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