I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
