I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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