i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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