That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
