he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
