I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
