I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
