You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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