Soap is not a condiment
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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