Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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