haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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