i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize