Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
