I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I think i got beer on your cat.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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