so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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