who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
