Nicole vs. Life
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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