Redeem this text for a blowjob
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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