Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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