super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
