You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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